youre lurking in front of me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is wine microwaveable?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
