Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize