My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize