C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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