STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize