I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
