I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize