So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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