dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
