The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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