it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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