I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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