Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
