Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
