I can't breathe out the right side of my face
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
