I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
