Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
