Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
