Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
