Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
