none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
