if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize