Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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