so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
