God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
