So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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