I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
