when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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