if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
