I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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