just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
