I'm lost and stupid without you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
