I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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