I wish I could punch you in the face.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
