dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
