the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
