My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
