Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
