i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
