I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
