Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
NoShamevember. You game?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
