God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
