Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
