i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
