can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
