you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
