Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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