So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize