I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
