Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
