God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
