you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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