Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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