We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
