You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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