It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
