Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Randomize
