Kiss
Puke
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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