do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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