Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
