You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize