She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
