chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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