You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
