Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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