I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
