you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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