What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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