walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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