At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
