Are we in a gay sports bar?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
