I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I pour the whiskey from now on
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
