The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I didn't notice because vodka
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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