once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize