K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
