Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
