I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it glows. i had to have it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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