I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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