Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
